My Boyfriend’s Internet Company Email

I got this test email the other day after telling him he needs to have a good welcome email set up once someone signs in and subscribes.

This is what he sent me.

————————————————————————————————

On Wed, Mar 19, 2014 at 7:53 PM, R <> wrote:

Hi Penguin,

I made your profile on CENSORED COMPANY NAME, which you can view here:
http://testotestotheresreallynourl.com

You will be able to access your admin page from the managers cabinet sign in (from the sign in page, click managers cabinet and then enter your login info there), which you can find here:

http://www.CENSOREDCOMPANYNAME.com/manager/sign_in

On the managers sign in page, enter your login credentials:

username: penguin@butt.com
password: peng234

Please enter a detailed profile, with a full menu, and some photos. We find that the more information you provide will  highlight your business better, and it will also make the customer feel more comfortable with choosing your store.

Thank you for joining CENSORED COMPANY NAME!

Your 90-day free trial will end on  March 29th, Latuda!  After the 90 days, if you are happy with our service and do not wish to cancel, your credit card ending in 45penguinbutt67 will be charged $59 on a monthly basis.

Please let me know if you have any questions or need any help setting up your account.

Sincerely,

R
CENSORED COMPANY NAME CEO, Co-Founder
——————————————————————————

Apparently R needs to learn how to call me by my birthright name sometimes.  Because being called an animal can get tiring.  And on top of that, Latuda is a made up word.

 



Who Is Yousef Erakat?

So, who is he?

I was introduced by the video below and I almost DIED.

Them buns are fiiiiioooonnneeee, girl!

Then I went online to google him and there was no real biography page existing anywhere.

So here is your biography.

Name: Yousef Erakat

Age: 24

Height: 5’11

Does he have a girlfriend?: No

School: San Jose State

Race: Palestinian American

Has: Biceps & Triceps

How did it all start?: He was a theatre student and he wrote a business plan and used social media consistently, hustled, and worked hard to provide entertainment via Youtube concentrating on topics such as being Muslim, Terrorism, Racism which led to other skits involving Kidnapping, random pranks, and Drake.  Yeah. Drake.

Subscribers on youtube as of now: 1,446,275.

When did he started getting popular?: 2012

Sources:

Here

Here

His Youtube channel here.

Furthermore…

A lesson in SEO

Take a phrase that is searched a fair amount a month… that has low competition… and write about it.

Let’s see what happens?

2014-03-05_1351

I will show you the before and after traffic.

Stay tuned!



What have you learned about life so far

My friend, Hango, AKA, BOB, aka Hangalo, aka Hang… asked me to write a post for her.

Post topic: What are 5 things you have learned about life so far?

It has been a week and I told her I could only think of 1 or 2 or 3-ish at the most.

One is that failure is not the worst thing ever and exploring the weird and the interesting and the strangely taboo… is okay!  That is why I have a therapist.  I have insurance, it affords me a therapist, why not?  Mental health is important just as much as physical health – hence my gym membership.

To keep her identity somewhat private I will name her V.  V told me something very interesting in our last session.  And that is = most working relationships are 50/50.

I was completely oblivious to the fact that having someone pay for you, completely, when you can afford whatever yourself, is …. not right after the dating phase is over.

I shit you not I expected the relationship road ahead of me to be paved by a very nice, cushioned, money-bricked road.

Because I can deliver.  Crazy sex? Check.  A fun experience with another human being? Check. Whatever you want? Maybe check.

Obviously though, after it is no longer just dating and it becomes a relationship, things change.

The concept of paying for a date is still foreign to me.  I know, where have I been living?  Under ex boyfriends who have deluded me into thinking this was okay.  Figuratively, of course!

So the idea of paying… for dates…. is cringeworthy.    My therapist told me healthy and long lasting relationships REQUIRE me to start paying to show appreciation.

I have gotten this far along in my life to not pay during dates.  It’s time to give back?  In a relationship?  If I don’t want my man to feel under-appreciated?  Sure.

Not to say I am not generous.  I am generous in business.  I am generous with random strangers.  The concept of paying for a date does not fit in my paradigm of generosity but THIS IS LIFE!

I can hold my own and have no need for anyone to take care of me.  But what is wrong in wanting it?  Even if I make millions, I still want the guy to pay for everything. EVERYTHING.  I have been schooled that this is the wrong way to go about it.

Ahem.  So that is 1 or 2 life lessons I have learned so far.

Another lesson is….

The more time I have for myself or to be idle, the more I question everything about life.  So it’s best to keep busy and keep productive than to let random questions about life stop me from actually doing life because CONTEMPLATIONS and imaginary conversations are actually nothing when it comes down to it.

And sometimes it can be confused with “planning”, but really, it is just stalling.

If I want to do something, I should just do it.  Pick up a paper, start filling out forms.  Want to exercise?  Join the gym this second (online).  Don’t wait for that Costco discount.  You might go to Costco and decide to buy 10 pies instead of buying the gym membership.  Don’t deliberate.  Life put on pause is not worth it.  You think the outcome will be better if you wait for things to be different before you make the leap?  Unless you need time to save up money for something – it is not worth the wait.

I think these three things should suffice my friend’s bloodthirsty hunger for me to write this post.

You are welcome!

 

 


When I Stretch Myself Too Thin, This Is What Ends Up Happening:

I don't give a fuck about my socks matching anymore.

I don’t give a fuck about my socks matching anymore.  Not that they ever consistently matched anyway.  In either texture or brand or color.  Mis-matching can be a three way.  But not that kind of three way.

It almost looks like I have the case of a phantom foot.

Stretching thin means thinking I can take on everything, dipping my feet (LOOK ABOVE) into everything and fooling myself into believing I have enough energy to take it ALL on.

My personal trainer Casey, whom I hired to make me become healthier, unfortunately does not have a cell phone.  He calls me every other morning from the fitness gym in a  soft friendly voice, “Are you awake yet?  You still coming at 7AM?” to which I groggily answer back “Yessss” with half a bit of drool dangling from the corner of my chapped mouth.

I am in better shape than ever but that fooled me into believing I can take on running the automobile dismantling business  AND AND…

Coordinating a website developing team from a third world country.

Embarking on creating a possible SaaS company with a fellow who I happened to message on Youtube and who happened to be local enough to meet up with me and agree on trying this shit out.

Having a boyfriend who goes rock climbing four days out of the week.  Learning how to cook better.

Taking auto classes at a nearby college (I got an A+ on my first test… which proves… I care way too much when grades don’t even matter anymore at this point.)

Meeting up with a blogging group on Saturdays to spurn myself to blog more.

Hiking/Rock climbing/Running/ETCETCETC. ETC.

Then I realize….

my socks are no longer matching.

I have to admit to myself I haven’t been showering daily. I know, gross.

I wake up at 6AM going FUCK IT ALL!!!!

I wake up at 3AM and read tons and tons of random wiki-trivia about movies only to fall back to sleep again till 6AM.

I am in the middle of conversations with 6 different people at the office while I am hold on the phone, skyping with someone, on gchat with others, on my cell, remotely controlling two other computers, talking to a person in front of my face, and jotting down notes onto a calendar behind my back in which I would have to swivel my chair and WHY DON’T I PUT THE CALENDAR IN FRONT OF ME INSTEAD? WHY DID I PIN IT TO THE WALL SO I WOULD HAVE TO DO A SPIN EVERYTIME I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF OF SOMETHING?

And there’s EPA compliance, and hoses I need to buy, and Schedule C forms, and we ran out of plastic bags, and three different people needing important answers, and 5 customers want to return something, and Fedex broke a package to which I would have to resolve with a claim, and a computer needs to be rebooted and completely reconfigured….and… I find myself waking up curled into a fetal position each morning dreading the long LONG day ahead.

Stumbling back home at night, my roommate makes some quesadillas which normally I would not eat but being stretched too thin I forget I am lactose intolerant and I gobble up some with glee only to regret it later while I am in the bathroom –

STARING AT MY MISMATCHED SOCKS.

So this post was pointless.  It is realizing sometimes stretching yourself so damn thin could mean wanting to re-evaluate everything.  I end up promising everyone everything, fulfilling what they need with LENGTHY DELAYS, and just taking care of shit while I am flying on my tippy toes.

I envy those who can keep everything altogether in a neat and tidy pink bow of life.

Obviously I have my priorities all straightened out.


Ask Polly: How can I stop feeling like a failure?

Dear Polly,

I am in my late twenties and I am currently working almost seven days a week to make ends meet. I barely have a couple hundred dollars in my savings account…much of my paycheck goes towards paying for bills.  I do not shop much nor spend too frivolously thus I live within my means.  I feel that my life now revolves around finding ways to make more money so I don’t have to worry about living paycheck to paycheck.  My family currently lives in a small apartment and there’s not much space for anything.  I crave for a space that is mine, a place for a desk and a flower – a place I can work.  I want a garden for my grandmother so she won’t be bored.  She loves growing plants, flowers, and vegetables.  I don’t think I am really good at anything or have any skill that’s valuable to be able to increase my income to a lot more than what it is.  I guess time, hard work, and patience will be best for me.  I’m not too happy with myself because I don’t make much and I can’t take care of my family the way I want to.  Or I guess, I’m not happy because I feel that I haven’t accomplished anything.  Any ideas?

Thanks,

Too Poor Too Worried

 

Dear TPTW,

Everyone starts at the bottom.  Everyone.  And the fact that you aren’t making that much means you probably are at some entry-level job.  It takes usually a couple of years doing entry level before you are promoted to a decent salary given our economy.  Sure, you didn’t land that hot high salary paying job directly out of college and maybe you have stumbled upon many mediocre jobs before landing this one which by the way is still mediocre because you are again – starting over.   However, any job is better than no job.  Any movement in a direction where you are at least paying your bills, where your car payments and rent are being paid off is a positive direction.

 

Try sticking this job out for at least 2 years while improving instead of jumping from entry level job to entry level job.  It takes a certain tongue biting, a certain level of drudgery you’d have to endure before you can even demand for more.  You bid your time, you make friends with the boss, you make friends with coworkers, and you work smart enough to be noticed… but while you wait you don’t have to twiddle your thumb in agony over your low pay, you wait in GREAT ANTICIPATION AND EXCITEMENT for that day where you can ask for a higher salary because you fucking deserve it.

And let me tell you, that day will come sooner than you think.  Negotiating a higher salary is very common… Employees all around the world engage in this very act CONSTANTLY.  Once they ask for something better and they don’t get it, they at least have a couple of other options lined up.  So stop focusing on the drudgery and the low pay and the minutia of daily life.  Start collecting and DOCUMENTING your progress.  A good salary negotiation is going to be backed up by facts, by a long list of email testimonials of how great you are at your job, a power point presentation of how your contributions changed your company by X percentage in terms of sales, customer service recognition.  Arm your portfolio with as many complimentary amos as you can and spend your hours collecting and collecting instead of moping.  No compliment through email is too small.  No sales number is insignificant.  Not as long as there is progress.

I would highly recommend investing in salary negotiation techniques because they are worth it.  Ramit Sethi is known partially for his salary negotiation online product.  It is a couple of bucks for a chance to have the confidence to negotiate a several thousand dollar increase in your salary.  It is worth it.  I tried it myself and increased my bonus amount by 300%.  I know, ridiculous.  But you never know how much your employer is willing to give unless you ask for it.  Meanwhile, never stop applying to other jobs AS YOU IMPROVE, because you never know there might be a great job right around the corner with a higher salary you can use as leverage.  If another company is willing to pay you more, your company will no doubt look at you with a different perspective.  If you are suddenly in greater demand, that is all the more reason for them to give you what you want.

Let’s focus on your living situation.  Having your own desk with a FLOWER is not hard to do in any situation as long as there is a roof over your head.  Cell mates have their own desks.  At work, you have your own desk.  For your grandmother who loves growing vegetables, there are many indoor hanging plants she can do without having to add extra real estate to your current situation.  She can do a hanging tomato garden.  They even sell some kits at the $.99 only store!  She can totally start doing urban indoor gardening.

Sometimes, people in their twenties have the luxury to fool around, make mistakes, live life recklessly.  Life has serendipitously landed you a role of the caretaker for your family.  For you to take on that role is already so self sacrificing, you do not need to beat yourself up with further guilt for not providing them the mansion or lifestyle you believe they deserve.  I am pretty sure as long as you are paying all the bills, they have it pretty nice that someone else is taking care of them when they cannot do that for themselves.  Already there should be a deep sense of gratefulness and if you are taken for granted then you should not beat yourself up more for it.  Kind reminders of your generosity should at least be doled out once in a while so they can thank their lucky stars they are not homeless and starving.

You are right.  Time, patience, and hard work will definitely be the best for you.  It is in how you are biding your time that is causing mental agony.  Bide your time by filling it up with your portfolio of minor to major accomplishments.  You will see how they all add up.  Bide your time by relishing in the simple joys life affords you because you are going somewhere and doing something instead of sitting around all day waiting for someone else to take care of you (I am adding this just in case but I know you already have your own life-relishing activities).  It is important not to dismiss how important you are.  Without you, your family will not have the care they are receiving.  Without you, your company wouldn’t be benefiting so much from your efforts.  It is important also to not dismiss your accomplishments no matter how minor.

The accompanying praise and the relics given to those who reach their milestones which are declared on Facebook or in real life… their milestones for the most part resulted from long roads traveled.  Their milestones were accompanied by years of hard work, years riddled with tiny moments where they feel they are not worth it because they haven’t reached their pot of gold at the end of the rainbow yet.

The accomplishments you achieve, however minor, should be documented and not so easily dismissed so that when you step back to get an emotional outcast of your current situation – it is a feeling of gathered accomplishments enough for the overall picture to be a good one.  A progressing one.  There is something inside of you that is burning with truth – that you are worth and you deserve a lot more than your current salary and standard of living.  Keep that truth burning because it is so so so much better than resigning to thinking your current situation is the way it always will be.  Your salary is the best you can get.  Your life is as good as it gets when it isn’t so good.  The fact that despite what you tell me about how down you are about your current situation, you still maintain the “this can’t be it, it can get better, I am worth a lot more than this” attitude.  So deep down you know your worth.  KEEP  PUSHING that feeling towards the surface so taking a step back to view yourself won’t be a painful experience of, “where am I? I haven’t gone anywhere,” to “I know my value and I am not standing still.  Life is moving forward.  I am moving forward.  I am not where I want to be now but there is nothing stopping me from getting there.  THESE ARE JUST MY HUMBLE MOTHERFUCKING BEGINNINGS, BITCHES!  ONWARDS HO!”

Polly

Simply because I am so DAMN HAPPY all the time and I get many “Dear Polly” type questions from friends, I figured I’ll answer one publicly.  If it proves to be a fun activity I will keep it up.  If not, oh well, onto other things.

Feel free to contact me and send me your “ASK POLLY” questions.  I will keep them anonymous and answer them!



Pints All Around, Hops in Your Cups, Balls to the Wall

So I am a supporter of all things magical and fun.

Mike and Dariane

Mike and Dariane

Pints All Around is written by Michael Le and Dariane – a couple who decided that they would rather travel the world for a little bit before too many obligations tie them down.

And they are smart about it.  They spent time gathering free mileage, they spent time researching what to pack, they read travel blogs and they prepare well in advance for their journey.

This is the trend that I see going on lately.  Same with this Blog by my colleague Philip Luu.  And then I read quora answers such as the one below: http://www.quora.com/Backpacking-travel/Is-backpacking-really-worth-it/answer/Jack-Calnan?ref=fb.

Michael – or as I call him simply – Mike, describes this journey as a dilation in the space time continuum because time moves way too fast when your life comprises mostly of traveling, but when you look back you realize you’ve lived quite a bit.  Jack Calnan describes it as a series of never ending adventures.

I am seething with envy.

It makes sense, doesn’t it?

When the future is no longer about working all your life for that golden pension, when your value as an individual is not so much defined by how much you fit in line and climb a corporate ladder , when you can make enough money to experience an enriched life through spurts of traveling meanwhile always knowing that you can go back to a job whenever you desire – you fucking go for it.

You can climb a corporate ladder enough to solidify your value from age 22 – 26/27.  Then go travel for a bit before you hit your mid thirties with a halted metabolism, mortgage, kids,  and toppling health issues. You can always take vacations as you go through your schooling as well.

So I raise my glass full of hops to people like Mike, Dariane, Philip, and Jack (total stranger) – for having the balls to go out there and experience as much of the world as they can before life hits them hard in those same balls.  Or maybe not.  Or maybe life continues to be completely adventurous and filled with flying unicorns.

Either way – here is a picture from Mike’s blog.

On a weakly similar note I am going to Mazatlan for vacation in a month for 9 days.  I’ll be staying at the El Cid resort.  Sure sure I just started a business – but this is MY LIFE.  I have to live it.  Any good suggestions?


Feeling For The Point Of No Return

Points of no return are interesting to me.

In relationships I am always feeling out for that point to decide if I should go or stay.  And maybe that isn’t healthy.  But at the beginning that point of no return could be something very easy as an annoying habit they exhibit.  It means the death of the interaction due to the fact that you’ve barely known them for a few dates and your point of no return has been breached.  Later on it becomes the question of different lifestyles because now you are a bit more committed to even ponder this meshing of personalities.  It was irrelevant until it became unavoidable.  The point of no return to me means the point when you should definitely leave.

And the more you know someone, the further it fades into the distance.  It becomes your far reaching horizon, blurred by the haze of the sunset.

The same thing applies to a hobby becoming a passion.  The point of no return does not exist.  Because you would do anything to make your passion happen and quitting is not an option.

Feeling for these points of no return makes me decide when to quit.  But it also can leave room for premature decisions based on the feeling of a moment.

The less of a grasp I have on my points of no return – the more reassured I am of its permanence.  Whether it’s a passion, a person, or a position.

 

Do you also feel for points of no return?

Credit to: Bodyperformancefitness.com


keep-calm-cook-on

keep-calm-cook-on-breaking-bad
credit to: teepublic.com

So for the past month I feel a little more panicked than usual.

I moved to a desert town by myself in April.

Contrary to popular belief I did not move to the desert to cook (meth).

It is to start an autodismantling business in the middle of nowhere (which usually doesn’t matter all too much because most of my sales are international/out of state).  The feeling of going from a 9-5 stable job every single day to tackling a business venture with no safety net didn’t feel like a sudden jolt out of what I was used to.  It felt like a breath of fresh air I have been dying to breathe for the longest while.

I grew the business to a decent size in the span of 5 months by hiring necessary workers, developing relationships with shop owners/scrap metal recyclers/catalytic converter recyclers/battery-buying people/tire buying people/rim buying people/business mentors, replaced all my hats with good people, outsourced some, negotiated like crazy for everything I had to gather or purchase…

I even got a boyfriend.

Now it is the fifth month and I feel panicked. (more…)


 Is There A Use To Being

The Devil’s Advocate

For Insight ?

Credit to: Forbes.com

 

Once again, it’s this nagging idea that has been bothering me.

Sometimes (or often)… you like to take brute pride in your own convictions.  And you are then asked to be humble by certain methods of persuasion.  One method the other party might enact includes playing the Devil’s advocate to remind you that different perspectives may exist.  More like a fight for neutrality.

“SOME people might perceive it as that… yes… but others might not.”

How are you supposed to respond?

“Umm… yes.”

You realize this bothers you because after that “yes” is verbalized, your mind is probably going “So what the fuck is next?”

When a person is playing Devil’s advocate simply as a way to rub some neutral ground to your stated opinion (extreme as they may be sometimes)…. the only use of this tool is for halting what may come from your opinion.  It’s to halt the next move towards your end game.  Why?  Because there is fear that you would take it too far?  Because of their neurotic urge to feel right with an easy cop-out by stating the obvious?

Playing the Devil’s advocate without a proposed different solution or different insight provides no value add.  It is a form of underestimating my intelligence by reminding me of what should be very much common sense.

Of course some people may see it as this and not that.  OF COURSE others might view it differently.  OF COURSE I might be the product of my own environment.  OF COURSE it could be a strong influence of proximity, of peers, and OF COURSE.. it might not.  THIS OR THAT… SOMETIMES… These phrases bother me if there is no solution after the fact.

Provide a damn solution if you are going to try and bring me back to the neutral ground I strayed away from.  Purposely I left that neutral place a long time ago because I have an opinion.

My response could be, “Well, it’s my own opinion.  Others might think differently.  This is how I think.”

But that would be too obvious.  Much more obvious than, “Some people think this way, others think that, too.  Not everyone is like that, some of them are like that, others are not.  Some things are that way.  Often times it could be something different.”

It’s maddening because there is no proposed solution.  It’s maddening because the very act of having an opinion is to take a stand away from being neutral.

Not from intolerance.

Not from bigotry.

But because you have a fucking opinion.

/End rant.


What Does It Mean When You Require More Attention

Credit to: GETGOODGAME.COM

I wanted to write about my take on what people consider “neediness” they don’t want/need to deal with.  Why? Because it is a topic which is bothering me as of late.

At the beginning of a relationship, if it is the ones that start post-college, let’s face it – it probably is very sexual.

And when people meet up for these “dates” which are really = eating and waiting to have intercourse periods, ESPECIALLY when two people are casually dating and before exclusivity is declared….. you are not friends.  Sorry.  You are CFWBs.

CFWBs = CIVIL Friends With Benefits.  Because you are not outright declaring you are using each other for sex/company since you don’t even know much about the other person.  But basically that is what it is.  TRUST.

This is compared to DFWBs = DECLARED Friends with Benefits.  DFWBs are either best buddies who share a mutual love for sex and consistently sabotaging any real romantic relationship with their attempted dates OR they share a very cold relationship where hitting it and quitting it is the norm… still consistently sabotaging any real romantic relationship with their attempted dates.

When CFWBs become GF/BFs there is a shift in the paradigm.  Both have agreed that they can have great sex and now are moving on towards other things…. like getting to know each other.  Once great sex is almost a guaranty – you can commence with the transition between SEX MOSTLY to a SEX + Sprinkles of Romance relationship.

Here is where things tend to get STICKY.

ONE OF YOU WILL HAVE A NEED TO RECEIVE MORE ATTENTION.  OR BOTH!

Because a transition from CFWBs –> GF/BF will not be a happy one unless SOMETHING is realized.  That something is the fact that a yearning for friendship/love has begun.  Improper response: “Hey, I was used to only responding to you once a week – what happened? WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH MORE NEEDY?”  Proper response: “Oh, so you need me to do that to make you happy?  Alrighty then!  Let’s get this show on the ROAD.”

When something CLICKS in your mind and you want more attention/texting/calling/initiation during a period where there is USUALLY RADIO SILENCE…… you, my friend, are only exercising your right for love.

Think about it.  You are given love freely from your parents.  You are given love freely from friends – OF COURSE they don’t mind your need to share your thoughts.  There is no such thing as an overload (unless that person is naturally annoying by a unanimous vote).  You start to want the friendship/love that comes freely with others in your life – from your recently acquired significant other.

You are normal.

There are MANY ways this scenario can turn out:

1) They react with insecurity/fear for their own freedom thinking it is mostly about them and not really about your yearning to be fulfilled emotionally (because you got the physical shit DOWN)… then they are not your cup of tea.  Spit it out.  Throw away the  freakin’ cup.  Life is short.  There is no need to keep on sipping that bitter nasty cup of tea when you can have the greatest CHAI TEA you’ve ever tasted in your LIFE if you simply moved on.

2)  They react with trying to increase attention but naturally they suck at it because they are not used to it.  Know yourself to know how much longer you can tolerate it.  However, you will only continue to struggle with it which might lead to fights and could otherwise mess up an okay ending to a short lived story.  No one needs to get mauled in this process.  It was a good run – carry on.  Everyone can move on happy.

3) They react by giving you the attention you need in DROVES.   Like a train that suddenly started and will move NONSTOP.  Like a double rainbow that never stops shinning – providing happiness forever.  You are deliriously happy.  You both move forward in delirious happiness.  Because they realize it’s not about THEM when it comes to asking for more attention, it’s about YOU.  And making YOU happy is what matters.

I might have exaggerated on certain parts of this description.  But you get the gist of what I am saying.

*This is to exclude all behaviors of emotional manipulation.  Once emotional manipulation comes into play – this whole explanation is moot.*

Copyright by Passive Income Marathon Inc.