When I Stretch Myself Too Thin, This Is What Ends Up Happening:
I don’t give a fuck about my socks matching anymore. Not that they ever consistently matched anyway. In either texture or brand or color. Mis-matching can be a three way. But not that kind of three way.
It almost looks like I have the case of a phantom foot.
Stretching thin means thinking I can take on everything, dipping my feet (LOOK ABOVE) into everything and fooling myself into believing I have enough energy to take it ALL on.
My personal trainer Casey, whom I hired to make me become healthier, unfortunately does not have a cell phone. He calls me every other morning from the fitness gym in a soft friendly voice, “Are you awake yet? You still coming at 7AM?” to which I groggily answer back “Yessss” with half a bit of drool dangling from the corner of my chapped mouth.
I am in better shape than ever but that fooled me into believing I can take on running the automobile dismantling business AND AND…
Coordinating a website developing team from a third world country.
Embarking on creating a possible SaaS company with a fellow who I happened to message on Youtube and who happened to be local enough to meet up with me and agree on trying this shit out.
Having a boyfriend who goes rock climbing four days out of the week. Learning how to cook better.
Taking auto classes at a nearby college (I got an A+ on my first test… which proves… I care way too much when grades don’t even matter anymore at this point.)
Meeting up with a blogging group on Saturdays to spurn myself to blog more.
Hiking/Rock climbing/Running/ETCETCETC. ETC.
Then I realize….
my socks are no longer matching.
I have to admit to myself I haven’t been showering daily. I know, gross.
I wake up at 6AM going FUCK IT ALL!!!!
I wake up at 3AM and read tons and tons of random wiki-trivia about movies only to fall back to sleep again till 6AM.
I am in the middle of conversations with 6 different people at the office while I am hold on the phone, skyping with someone, on gchat with others, on my cell, remotely controlling two other computers, talking to a person in front of my face, and jotting down notes onto a calendar behind my back in which I would have to swivel my chair and WHY DON’T I PUT THE CALENDAR IN FRONT OF ME INSTEAD? WHY DID I PIN IT TO THE WALL SO I WOULD HAVE TO DO A SPIN EVERYTIME I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF OF SOMETHING?
And there’s EPA compliance, and hoses I need to buy, and Schedule C forms, and we ran out of plastic bags, and three different people needing important answers, and 5 customers want to return something, and Fedex broke a package to which I would have to resolve with a claim, and a computer needs to be rebooted and completely reconfigured….and… I find myself waking up curled into a fetal position each morning dreading the long LONG day ahead.
Stumbling back home at night, my roommate makes some quesadillas which normally I would not eat but being stretched too thin I forget I am lactose intolerant and I gobble up some with glee only to regret it later while I am in the bathroom –
STARING AT MY MISMATCHED SOCKS.
So this post was pointless. It is realizing sometimes stretching yourself so damn thin could mean wanting to re-evaluate everything. I end up promising everyone everything, fulfilling what they need with LENGTHY DELAYS, and just taking care of shit while I am flying on my tippy toes.
I envy those who can keep everything altogether in a neat and tidy pink bow of life.
Obviously I have my priorities all straightened out.