What have you learned about life so far?

What have you learned about life so far

My friend, Hango, AKA, BOB, aka Hangalo, aka Hang… asked me to write a post for her.

Post topic: What are 5 things you have learned about life so far?

It has been a week and I told her I could only think of 1 or 2 or 3-ish at the most.

One is that failure is not the worst thing ever and exploring the weird and the interesting and the strangely taboo… is okay!  That is why I have a therapist.  I have insurance, it affords me a therapist, why not?  Mental health is important just as much as physical health – hence my gym membership.

To keep her identity somewhat private I will name her V.  V told me something very interesting in our last session.  And that is = most working relationships are 50/50.

I was completely oblivious to the fact that having someone pay for you, completely, when you can afford whatever yourself, is …. not right after the dating phase is over.

I shit you not I expected the relationship road ahead of me to be paved by a very nice, cushioned, money-bricked road.

Because I can deliver.  Crazy sex? Check.  A fun experience with another human being? Check. Whatever you want? Maybe check.

Obviously though, after it is no longer just dating and it becomes a relationship, things change.

The concept of paying for a date is still foreign to me.  I know, where have I been living?  Under ex boyfriends who have deluded me into thinking this was okay.  Figuratively, of course!

So the idea of paying… for dates…. is cringeworthy.    My therapist told me healthy and long lasting relationships REQUIRE me to start paying to show appreciation.

I have gotten this far along in my life to not pay during dates.  It’s time to give back?  In a relationship?  If I don’t want my man to feel under-appreciated?  Sure.

Not to say I am not generous.  I am generous in business.  I am generous with random strangers.  The concept of paying for a date does not fit in my paradigm of generosity but THIS IS LIFE!

I can hold my own and have no need for anyone to take care of me.  But what is wrong in wanting it?  Even if I make millions, I still want the guy to pay for everything. EVERYTHING.  I have been schooled that this is the wrong way to go about it.

Ahem.  So that is 1 or 2 life lessons I have learned so far.

Another lesson is….

The more time I have for myself or to be idle, the more I question everything about life.  So it’s best to keep busy and keep productive than to let random questions about life stop me from actually doing life because CONTEMPLATIONS and imaginary conversations are actually nothing when it comes down to it.

And sometimes it can be confused with “planning”, but really, it is just stalling.

If I want to do something, I should just do it.  Pick up a paper, start filling out forms.  Want to exercise?  Join the gym this second (online).  Don’t wait for that Costco discount.  You might go to Costco and decide to buy 10 pies instead of buying the gym membership.  Don’t deliberate.  Life put on pause is not worth it.  You think the outcome will be better if you wait for things to be different before you make the leap?  Unless you need time to save up money for something – it is not worth the wait.

I think these three things should suffice my friend’s bloodthirsty hunger for me to write this post.

You are welcome!

 

 

CATEGORY: Life, Life Rants, Personal Lessons About, Uncategorized

Kim Dang

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