How to Build a Website Part 1, Get rid of the smell of #2, and Other Ramblings
I’ve been sitting on an ebook I’ve written 30 pages of for the longest time about building a website. I honestly thought it would be 5 pages but the screenshots made it expand to 30. Since no one will stand for a 30 page blog post, I will start with Part 1 of this ebook. When I finish this series I will make it available for free on the site as well as in complete ebook form. It’s the only way for me to pull it out from under my ass for it to be seen by the good people of the internet.
Speaking about bottoms, later on I will show you how to get rid of the smell of your #2 with a few sprays.
Let’s begin then, shall we?
How to Build a Website Part 1
Building a website is much like cooking. You have to do steps in sequence and depending on what you see/taste (you shouldn’t taste your computer, though) you adjust accordingly.
1) Go and sign up for a domain name. There is namecheap.com ($9.98/yr) , 1and1.com ($4.99/yr) , name.com ($9.99/yr). Let’s start with the basics and let’s keep it simple. A domain name is a URL that points to where you keep your website. Think of it as a big morbidly obese finger.
URL stands for universal resource locator. The finger (index, not the middle finger) will help you locate where your website resides. A friend of mine saw how valuable domain names were going to be and around 10 years ago he used up all his credit cards to buy up thousands of domain names. He sold one for $5000 a week after he started buying and several weeks after that he sold more for seven figures. Now he is flying pretty. He was selling million dollar pointing fingers. This is all to say domain names are important but they are a dime a dozen.
I recommend namecheap because they privatize your WHOIS information for no extra charge. Everytime you sign up for a domain name your information is made public (in case someone wants to contact you for legal reasons). But you can make it up. As long as your credit card works – you will get a domain name.
2) After you sign up for the domain name, sign up for hosting. Try bluehost.com . They have excellent customer service. You will usually have to pay $100/yr for good hosting. What is hosting? Hosting is like the real estate your website is located. It has all your files and everything you need stored at this location.
Find the DNS of your hosting company = Domain Name Server of the hosting company. Write this down.
You can just google “Bluehost DNS” if you are confused. Or “Godaddy DNS”. But find this information.
3) This is IMPORTANT! You must go into your domain control panel and put in the DNS’ of your HOSTING.
This is where you will make your domain name point in the right direction to your host. If you do not designate a correct DNS, your domain name won’t be leading anyone anywhere. (And that is a damn tragedy)
That is it for now. All you did is use up around $110 of your money, point your domain name (fat finger) to your hosting (website location).
It will take from 24-48 hours for your www.something.com to look right because the servers need to communicate with each other. JUST LIKE COOKING! One other thing, if you buy hosting and your domain name from the same location you can skip this step. But I prefer to buy my domain name from namecheap.com (because it’s the best price for a domain name) and my hosting from another company (like bluehost.com) because I get the best bang for my buck that way. It took me 15 pages of screenshots to get to this point in my ebook so if you want the complete step by step just contact me or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
How To Make Your ISH Not Stink
1) Go to www.poopourri.com.
2) Buy something.
3) Before you do the deed, spray 1 or 2 sprays of this product into the bowl…. VIOLA! After you leave the next person won’t suffer. I have personally tried out their products and they are AMAZING! My roomate introduced me to this ingenious chemical mix when she told me to spray before I poo.
My warehouse neighbor’s wife found me on instagram. I only have 11 pictures on there at the most.
Everything is coming together. I am finishing up training for the most part. The warehouse is populated with more shelves than I need at this point. I am going to purchase my fifth car. Here is a poem I wrote in the past about public displays of affection.
I sincerely hope these How To’s help you guys! Thanks for reading and have a great Sunday.