that while my dad was in prison for 7 years, he made it work, somehow.

He managed to smuggle in some baby chicks and ducks in order to create a more exciting and happy prison life for himself.  The guards saw him just harmlessly tending to chickens and ducks so they did not mind.  He told me out of 200 inmates at his camp, he was the only one who was always followed around by 4 ducks and 6 chickens.

He told me they were fed rice and he riled up the other inmates to feed his pets because there was always an excess of rice. He raised one chicken for 2 years before it died.  Needless to say, during 7 years of imprisonment and shuffled through 3 camps, he experienced several generations of chickens and ducks.  Other inmates questioned why he would do such a thing and he told them.. “why not? it makes life a bit more exciting.”

He also sold alcohol and treats in prison because he befriended an inmate who had special privileges to roam outside its doors.

He knew how to fish and ate fish in abundance while he was in jail as well as crab and lobster but he would always share his bounty with his friends.

He once negotiated 4 days of freedom by riling up his fellow inmates to chop and sell sugar cane for 8 million dong to the public.

He told me that when he got out, he was still handsome and together (all in one piece) so that was why my mom accepted him or else I would have not existed.

He had an injured leg in prison where for a period he couldn’t walk and he befriended a kind soul who helped bring salt and ginger so he could cover his wound with salt and vinegar paste daily in order for his leg to heal.

He fought against the viet cong during the vietnam war and since the south fell, he was imprisoned afterwards as an ex-soldier. The point is… my dad told me no matter what situation I happen to be put in, no matter how bad things get, I can always find a way.  I can always be creative with the little means I have. My dad came to the US with nothing.  He was placed in jail with nothing.  And here he is now living in california in a home he’s partially built with the help of my mom.  In every sense of the word, he’s made it.  He has crafted this life for himself where he doesn’t have to worry too much financially anymore (although he is not drowning in riches); he is doing okay.  I do not ask much of him as I put myself through college and I am very much an independent person of my own right… but by being able to share this conversation with my dad, watching him recount his stories of  undoubtedly emotionally scarring but bittersweet yonder years…

all I can think of is… (admist laughing so hard and crying simultaneously at his stories)…

This precious man.

This loving, crafty, intelligent man who has managed to unconditionally support me, my mom, and my brother all these years.  How wonderful that he’s still alive and that I get to spend time with him.  He is 74 years old now.  I am hoping to keep having his company for as long as I can get it.

Then I helped him update his facebook profile picture.

Love my dad.

Love my dad.  With his asian eyes. Haha.

I felt like writing this post to document a moment I had today.  That’s all.


s ideas.

His IDEAS!

Okay, so maybe it isn’t love.  Maybe it is a frantic type of infatuation right now.  I’ve stumbled upon his “School of Life” series after making it a point of cancelling my Netflix account and ignoring Amazon Prime Video.

For those of you who don’t know him, he is a modern philosopher who has written many books about how to interpret life, love, etc.

The below are certain points he’s made which resonated with me:

  1. In being with someone you are subjecting two imperfect human beings together filled with childhood flaws and such, but teaching each other comes off as criticism because no one is really close enough nor invested enough to care about you on that level (sometimes, not even your own family and especially not your flings).
  2. We should treat our significant others like they are babies not with condescension, but more with generosity in interpretation regarding their actions.  You do not see the actions of your significant others as punitive or evil, but with a lot of room for forgiveness.
  3. Although you may disagree with religion, they got it right with the idea of repetition.  We naturally forget again and again how to behave or sensor or forgive and religion as a school of thought knows this is our behavior and acts accordingly.
  4. Sulking is possible because we have the delusional idea that those who love us can read our minds.

After writing this post, I feel like I don’t know if I want to keep this blog as Passiveincomemarathon.com.  More like whateversonmymind.com.

Anyway, I’ve found that by not binge watching shows – I’m watching real people.

Also, besides the adventures I try to embark upon (went to Havasupai last weekend, going to hike Half Dome the next), I’m punctured by days of silence and I get irritated by unexpected calls.  It MIGHT be because I am on the end of my period (which coincides with when I post, as well).  But I do feel like I’m on my own a lot.  Sure I interact with many people (through texting) daily but for the most part, verbally I’m talking to no one.  And it feels very isolating.

For the past few months I:

Rock climbed at Grass Valley Lake

Rock climbed/camped at Owens River Gorge

Bouldered at the Sads

Went to Havasupai in Arizona to see some waterfalls

What I observed… my business grew more when I am away and die if I have more of a hand in it. WTF.

Goals for the future:

Grow auto business to 40K/month. (I’ve neglected this business severely and I gotta build it back).

Restart Amazon FBA business and try to grow it to a modest 2-3K/month.

Revamp subscription based business, focus more on this business for June and July.

Invest in stocks more.

I guess that’s all.  I will let you know if I accomplish these goals or fall flat on my face.

 

I would write more, but I will do that… another day.

 

Keep on, Keepin’ on, folks.

A moment in paradise. #havasupaifalls #lovethislife #optoutside🌲

A post shared by Kim Dang (@kimpossibledang) on


Life is Good

The simple goals I’ve made for myself eventually gets done & I want to write a post to celebrate.

1) Restarted my webcomic site. –> I will add this post to it!

2) Point was deleted.

3) Get more than 11K in sales/month for my auto parts company. –> It took a TON of work. 1.5 years of effort. But I did it!

4) Hire a virtual assistant. –> He is very helpful and an extremely fast worker.

5) Started a youtube biography site. –> We have over 71 likes on Facebook.  Now it’s mostly run by my co-founder Lynn.  We recently added another writer to the group.  Her name is Liza.  Say Hello.

6) Get over 500+ connections on linkedin. –> 557 and counting!  I know. I need to update my profile. I will soon.

7) Push the worth of web of this blog site to over $2000 –> Did it!  That means:

476 visitors / day

(based on Alexa Rank below)
14,280 visitors / month
171,360 visitors / year
My Worth

My Worth

8) Be more happy with myself, hang out with more friends, & exercise more –> I have membership to Hanger 18 and I have been climbing like a gym monkey!  I am making time more for friends as well.  I also recently got a Mega Jul, Gri gri, Quick Lok carabiner, Quickdraw set of 5, my own chalkbag (instead of borrowing from my boyfriend all the time), my own purple harness, and a really cool headlamp.  Yeaaaaahhhhh.

9) AND LAST BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY = Prioritize what’s important. –> Listening to people more and put more effort into genuinely appreciating the friendships and relationships I have.

FUTURE SIMPLE GOALS

1) Recognize/appreciate/learn how to trust and love more.

2) Implement the marketing side of ***censored site*** to the max & fix all broken links.  It’s amazing we have subscribers when 90% of the links on our website are BROKEN.  You heard me folks.  The links lead nowhere.  Privacy policy?  Nowhere.  FAQ? Nowhere.  Home? HOME.  Can you make a business model work with a website that barely functions? Yes.  But is it the best it can be? NO.  We have a great product.  We just need to… sell it better.

  • Fix all broken links.

  • Build a thriving forum.

  • Sign up to Clickbank to create an affiliate marketing avenue.

  • Hire someone to do marketing & do SEO for the company.

  • Get monthly subscription to be $500/month.  It is a very modest goal so it is within our reach.

  • Get over 100 Subscribers to our newsletter. Right now we have 69 subscribers.

3) Bless Lynn’s heart.  I shut down sometimes when life gets too much but she is patient with me & lets me be until I can recover and return.

  • Get rid of broken components on whoistubian.com

  • Implement and earn at least $1 in affiliate link marketing on whoistubian.com

  • Write more blogs!

  • Earn at least $1 in adsense revenue.

4) Push my auto parts company to 20K in sales/month.  [This will hopefully not be that difficult.]

5) Learn how to aid climb so I can do big walls or large walls & in general become a stronger climber and a more athletic individual so I can conquer life – better.

6) Start Auto Parts Lab.  It is another auto dismantling company but this time it will be run by more than just 1 person.  I will have two co-founders.  This is my first stab at trying to franchise but not really franchising.  Goal is to break even for the first month.

7) Work on kimpossibledang.com as a blog.

  • Start a podcast.  Never tried it before but thought about it for awhile.

  • Get worth of web to $3000.

  • Reach at least 30 email subscribers. Right now I have 18.

  • Have more affiliate links.

8) Continue lolpartdeux.com & try to get at least $100 in adsense revenue from it.  So far the below is my adsense earnings for it. Pathetic.  But oh wells!:

adsense

adsense

 

Life is short. If I fail – I fail.  But at least I try.  I’m not getting any younger.  I guess those are my goals for the next months.  By writing this down I hope to make myself more accountable & that I can keep on pushing ahead.  They all work towards the following ideas in mind:

1) HAPPINESS.

2) APPRECIATION/SELFLESSNESS/LOVE.

3) FINANCIAL FREEDOM.

 

PS. I am so proud of my lil’ bro for having his white coat ceremony. He goin’ be a docta.


Gratitude

I am thankful for my family, my friends, and my boyfriend.

By moving to Hesperia by myself to start a company & consequently isolating myself to an unhealthy extent – I lose myself sometimes and I am going to actively work to get that happiness back.

Thank you for still trying.

Climbing at Fairview

Climbing at Fairview

 

Yep.

Yep.


Intimacy and Closeness

The other day I got a spam email from an SEO telemarketer critiquing my site as being too “company centric”.  Obviously he didn’t read anything on my site because… does a “company centric” blog site include a poem about sex on their site?  I didn’t think so.

A good point was made though – that if you go to this site you have no idea where to start or what to read because the topics are so damn varied.  Therefore, I’ve decided to make pages such as “NEWCOMER? START HERE” in the menu as well as ARCHIVE, PROJECTS, and CONTACT.

I’ve yet to make those pages.

I recently read Mark Manson’s post about 3 explanations why he thinks single people (who hate being single) are still single (and hating being single).

Let me break it down for you

1) Too high expectations of others while not really being hot shit themselves.  Overweight woman expects to date a man with six pack abs for example.

2) Not respecting their health/emotional well being enough to work really hard to be an emotionally and physically healthy individual … and wondering why they are getting rejected for relationships.

3) Skills for intimacy are not developed yet.  Which means they interpret every argument/fight as unbearable & can’t feel comfortable in getting close to someone because they don’t want to explore themselves on a deeper level and be okay with it.

I agree with all three points.

I think I’ve been through all of it and the one I struggle the most with is #3.

Why not #1 or #2?  I changed myself for the better by hiring a therapist to allow me to see reality clearly when it came to #1 and #2.  I got off my ass, exercised more, killed almost 80% of my expectations for people and what they can provide for me – instead I focused on becoming more giving without counting tabs & seeing where it goes when that happens.

#3 is tough.  How can you tell your SO that the cause of your pain is them without hurting them in the process? And vice versa?  It’s difficult.  Even if it is delivered at calm times.  I think it’s because to yourself – you are perfect (or close enough).  You’ve figured out for the most part what makes you happy.  And everything else outside of what makes you happy will mean… unhappiness.  And unhappiness is not what you want to include in your life.

You don’t want to face or even fathom the idea that sometimes.. you are not a good person.  Sometimes you are downright selfish.  Sometimes you are rude and you act in a way which hurts others unintentionally or otherwise.  There are these darker sides to you that resurface once in a while.  Although they do not make up the majority of your traits and personality – it hurts to admit to yourself that you are a bad person (sometimes).

I think the more you view yourself as a really good decent honest loving person… and you stick to that ideal rather vehemently… the harder it will be for you to accept any other versions which compromises this image.  And anyone who is close enough to see all sides of you will eventually point out the sides you basically ignored for the most part because god forbid you are not THAT guy/girl.  Any conversation which would touch upon the subject that maybe you are selfish, mean, horrible sometimes would hurt. A lot.

And when your SO gives two shits about you, you’re going to hear the good and the bad.  Getting 100% good is nearly impossible.  Nothing will be 100% out of the box.  And if you expect 100% you are suffering from not only #3 but #1 as well.

Being comfortable enough to explore yourself changes this mentality:

1) OWWW. You remind me sometimes that I am not perfect. That I am rude/mean/inconsiderate sometimes.  That I am vengeful/passive aggressive/not 100%/not good enough sometimes.  That is NOT okay!  I hate this!  I want OUT!  I guess I am meant to be alone because then I can JUST BE HAPPY! I WAS HAPPY BEFORE THIS!

to this:

2) I hear what you are saying & how it hurts you.  But I am secure about myself emotionally to know that I am not 100% evil/a bad person.  I have good intentions and I see somehow that doesn’t translate into my actions.  I understand things can be misinterpreted.  It’s not the end of the world.  I’ll see if I can approach it differently next time.

Mark says it is the difficult road to emotional stability.  Because in order to be healthy mentally you have to work hard at your own humility almost everyday, you have to work hard to be physically healthy (Your self esteem will be greatly influenced if you are not physically healthy), you have to fight every damn battle of irrational thoughts or refrain from behavior that can be misinterpreted.

Does this mean you are losing yourself and your own happiness?  I think the struggle is REAL, folks.  But you are not losing yourself.  You are gaining the ability to be close to someone and be okay with it.  This is a very cool skill to have.  Why not have the skill where you can be open, accept criticism come what may, still remain positive about life and love and proactively change yourself for the better?  Sure, the process will be painful.  Sure, you will probably have your ego crushed sometimes.  We can either let life hurt us and give us the excuse to stay hurt or we can be okay with what life throws at us because whatever it is… whether it be people who think we are not 100%… whether it be customers who just hate our guts…. or whether it is a big fat LEMON….

you can still make lemonade.

I think making lemonade when life throws you lemons is UNINTENTIONALLY PROFOUND.  It is profound because instead of running away from those pack of lemons, you are making something delicious out of them.  Happiness then ties into something that’s already there & working with it versus discarding it for the next thing that pops up.

The saying could’ve been… when life gives you lemons… you … THROW THEM ON THE GROUND.. and go with THE BAG OF APPLES.

(But it’s not.)

Yes. Chin pimples = CHIMPLES.

Yes. Chin pimples = CHIMPLES. Also, I was going to filter myself completely green to resemble the Hulk’s bastard child. But I changed my mind last minute.

 


What Does It Mean When You Require More Attention

Credit to: GETGOODGAME.COM

I wanted to write about my take on what people consider “neediness” they don’t want/need to deal with.  Why? Because it is a topic which is bothering me as of late.

At the beginning of a relationship, if it is the ones that start post-college, let’s face it – it probably is very sexual.

And when people meet up for these “dates” which are really = eating and waiting to have intercourse periods, ESPECIALLY when two people are casually dating and before exclusivity is declared….. you are not friends.  Sorry.  You are CFWBs.

CFWBs = CIVIL Friends With Benefits.  Because you are not outright declaring you are using each other for sex/company since you don’t even know much about the other person.  But basically that is what it is.  TRUST.

This is compared to DFWBs = DECLARED Friends with Benefits.  DFWBs are either best buddies who share a mutual love for sex and consistently sabotaging any real romantic relationship with their attempted dates OR they share a very cold relationship where hitting it and quitting it is the norm… still consistently sabotaging any real romantic relationship with their attempted dates.

When CFWBs become GF/BFs there is a shift in the paradigm.  Both have agreed that they can have great sex and now are moving on towards other things…. like getting to know each other.  Once great sex is almost a guaranty – you can commence with the transition between SEX MOSTLY to a SEX + Sprinkles of Romance relationship.

Here is where things tend to get STICKY.

ONE OF YOU WILL HAVE A NEED TO RECEIVE MORE ATTENTION.  OR BOTH!

Because a transition from CFWBs –> GF/BF will not be a happy one unless SOMETHING is realized.  That something is the fact that a yearning for friendship/love has begun.  Improper response: “Hey, I was used to only responding to you once a week – what happened? WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH MORE NEEDY?”  Proper response: “Oh, so you need me to do that to make you happy?  Alrighty then!  Let’s get this show on the ROAD.”

When something CLICKS in your mind and you want more attention/texting/calling/initiation during a period where there is USUALLY RADIO SILENCE…… you, my friend, are only exercising your right for love.

Think about it.  You are given love freely from your parents.  You are given love freely from friends – OF COURSE they don’t mind your need to share your thoughts.  There is no such thing as an overload (unless that person is naturally annoying by a unanimous vote).  You start to want the friendship/love that comes freely with others in your life – from your recently acquired significant other.

You are normal.

There are MANY ways this scenario can turn out:

1) They react with insecurity/fear for their own freedom thinking it is mostly about them and not really about your yearning to be fulfilled emotionally (because you got the physical shit DOWN)… then they are not your cup of tea.  Spit it out.  Throw away the  freakin’ cup.  Life is short.  There is no need to keep on sipping that bitter nasty cup of tea when you can have the greatest CHAI TEA you’ve ever tasted in your LIFE if you simply moved on.

2)  They react with trying to increase attention but naturally they suck at it because they are not used to it.  Know yourself to know how much longer you can tolerate it.  However, you will only continue to struggle with it which might lead to fights and could otherwise mess up an okay ending to a short lived story.  No one needs to get mauled in this process.  It was a good run – carry on.  Everyone can move on happy.

3) They react by giving you the attention you need in DROVES.   Like a train that suddenly started and will move NONSTOP.  Like a double rainbow that never stops shinning – providing happiness forever.  You are deliriously happy.  You both move forward in delirious happiness.  Because they realize it’s not about THEM when it comes to asking for more attention, it’s about YOU.  And making YOU happy is what matters.

I might have exaggerated on certain parts of this description.  But you get the gist of what I am saying.

*This is to exclude all behaviors of emotional manipulation.  Once emotional manipulation comes into play – this whole explanation is moot.*


“Everything around you that you call Life was made up of people who are no smarter than you.” – Steve Jobs.

So you can change and mold life to whatever you want it to be, basically.

For years of my life I have given in to my parents’ pressure of going down this road.  Every other word was uttered with extreme fear of the unknown and traveling a safe road would be best.  Even though every inch of my being wanted something else completely – I kept trying a path I hated to travel.  Maybe that was why I kept changing my mind, pretending to friends and families about something that wasn’t even relevant to their life – my career goals.

It wasn’t after a messy breakup, countless attempts to do something my heart wasn’t even into, that I decided to say the hell with it.

I’m done with trying paths my heart wasn’t passionate about.  Because I will never be able to live with myself.  Because what I discovered through this journey called “Life” was that I would never be successful due to self sabotage if it’s not something I will fall in love with.  And it wasn’t until I recognized this pattern in myself that was able to let go.

In letting go there is no more fear.  Fear of failure? Forget it.  Fear of backstabbing?  Been there, survived it, continuing to live life trusting again.  Fear of being broke?  I know English, right?  I can communicate?  I’ll be okay.  Fear of being taken advantage of?  Nope.  I am too damn smart for that.  Many of my fears are eliminated.

And I am most happy living this way.


 

Copyright by Passive Income Marathon Inc.